so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
