IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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