it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
