I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
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Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
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Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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