Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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