I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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