I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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