Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
