Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Someone came in the potted fern
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
