So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize