took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
