my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
