tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
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You're like the curious george of whores
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
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gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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