At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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