pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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