We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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