in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
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i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
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Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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