First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Oh god it's open bar.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
