I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
