wrigley field is MILF paradise
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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