I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
