Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
