I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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