If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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