nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
