Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
