i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize