Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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