You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
