she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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