Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
