The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
