Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
