Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
