Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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