So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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