just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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