I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
