His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
