guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
wakey wakey hands off snakey
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Randomize