it wasn't lemon gatorade
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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