I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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