Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
