I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize