we have pet lesbian snakes
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
