I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Who died my cat blue again?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
