We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's never too late to be topless.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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