I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Randomize
