woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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