ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dignity is for republicans.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
