Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
