Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
