I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
