I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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