On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
