Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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