I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just pee around me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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